It's not easy being human...

Updated: Aug 29, 2019






One thing we all share is that we are who we are. It is up to us as to how we handle who we are. What do we acknowledge about ourselves that is the truth about who were are, especially the parts that other people don't like about you. Right? What's your thing?


I have this thing... a big piece of my being, my nature, my DNA...the (dysfunctional) nurture I received from my parents....this intensity, this BIG presence that is me...


Often...a lot of people love it....and many, many more do not....it has been called many things by many people as people feel they can say what they really think about me, to me....


Today someone told me that I needed to "tone it down"...I am open to constructive criticism but what she was saying was a judgement....and I said that to her.... and my intensity stood up when I spoke....the conversation became difficult...we both stayed with it...showing up sharing honest thoughts and feelings....


Until we got to this moment where I asked her, "OK, tell me what you really mean? What should I do? What is it that I am doing that I should change?"....


And SHE said, "IT BEHOOVES YOU, JOANNE, TO CONSIDER LISTENING MORE AND SPEAKING LESS."


YES! That is constructive criticism, I said to her. The tension melted immediately. From there, I was able to share with her why my intensity was so INTENSE....and she "got" my story...and the energy shifted...the conversation shifted....and she was absolutely 100% correct.


Speaking less.... It is the exact focus of my attention on my path of self transformation so I my actions are lined up with my values.


LISTENING A LOT MORE and SPEAKING A LOT A LOT LESS.





She said what she thought was "feedback". I heard it and because I thought what she was saying was judgmental about who I am (I am upfront when people speak with me about how they wish I would change who I am) AND I USED MY WORDS WITH EMOTIONAL, INTENSITY, IT.


Was there emotion in my voice. Yes. I was emotional.


BEING EMOTIONAL USED TO MAKE ME SHUT UP OR FREAK OUT AND ATTACK THE OTHER PERSON. I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE. BUT I SPEAK UP EVEN WHEN I AM EMOTIONAL. I DO NOT ATTACK. I DO NOT SHUT UP.





For a variety fo reasons, what she said and that SHE said it really got to me in place that she had no idea even existed. In my speaking up and tolerating the discomfort of using my words and being upset and staying in the conversation, and her staying in the conversation, is what created a bridge and a meeting in the middle. .


It is about listening. Listening. Listening. Listening...breathing in, breathing out, smiling....it's not what's happening, it's how I handle it....all my actions are based on my values.


This was a full blown experience where Plan C Strategies -- which is what I do all the time and especially when a difficult conversation shows up -- can get people through difficult conversations so that AUTHENTIC connection happens.


The key ingredient was that my connection stayed with me in the conversation. Thru the intensity. Thru the difficulty. But with those ingredients...


At the end of 30 minutes, we ended with greater understanding and a kinship.


Kermit The Frog...RIP...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRZ-IxZ46ng



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